Conflict In Relationships

Conflict in relationships is inevitable. The challenge is that most couples often have different ways of communicating.

Some people need time to process their feelings away from others while others can quickly articulate their feelings in the very moment.

Some people need the space to figure out what is actually relevant while others know this for themselves very quickly.

Others want to talk right away while their partner is incapable of this task.

One of the tough aspects of relationships is that many of the people you care for are so different than yourself.

Knowing differences are normal is helpful. With couples in particular, The Gottman Institute says roughly 2/3 of couple’s problems are unsolvable. That’s a whopping statistic!

This information is helpful to know because no couple is in full agreement, no matter what you are assuming.

With that said, it’s only natural for conflict to arise. Whether big or small, it’s bound to happen with people you are close to.

How To Help Yourself

In the times when it feels like differences are unsolvable, one suggestion is to acknowledge this fact.

The Gottman Institute suggests what also proves helpful to couples is to not try and convert one another to coming to your side but to instead realize this is an “unsolvable problem.” With these types of problems, the task is to recognize and respect the fact that you and your other are different. Period.

So the next time you are in conflict, especially if it is an ongoing issue, check in with yourself to see if it’s unsolvable. I know it might not always be easy to distinguish this fact, but take some time to consider it.

Knowing a problem is unsolvable just might be the remedy to the difficulty ailing you.